


Channel 4: The Thin Man is Disappointed

by HQ_TMTVs (AHandWriter)



Series: Tune In [5]
Category: Little Nightmares (Video Game)
Genre: (Maybe? It's for the funnies), 1950s Slang, And all of the other children, Bet you never saw this coming didn't you?, Chases, Children, Comedy, Comic, Crack, Dark Comedy, Disappointment, Fan Comics, Gen, Hats, Humiliation, I chalk it up to the Transmission distorting our perception or just making the point to be funny, I don't care if the proportions are off, Interviews, Lampshade Hanging, My friend and I have made fun of the Thin Man for months and this happened, No wonder why he's out to get Mono and Six in LN2, Original Character(s), Out of Character, POV Third Person Limited, References to Fandom Memes, Remember when one of the tags for the Tune In series mentioned comedy? I wasn't kidding, Satire, Spoilers, Stealing, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Thin Man is a video game character with a bit of a 1950s grumpy old man mindset, The Thin Man is really protective of his fedora, Theories, There's a reason why that first pairing's there, This Channel and the fancomic that inspired it helped me to not take the Thin Man that seriously, and headcanons, pre-release
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28881057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHandWriter/pseuds/HQ_TMTVs
Summary: One day, the Thin Man finds a strange device somewhere in the Signal Tower. He has no idea what it is, but when it turns on by itself, he begins receiving strange messages and replies to them.He also quickly learns to regret his decision.
Relationships: Mono & Six (Little Nightmares), The Thin Man/Fedora (Little Nightmares)
Series: Tune In [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053683
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	1. The Thin Man is Disappointed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"Ghosting" as it is used in this Channel (and the others) is just another way of saying "teleport." The reason why I've called it that is because 1) it relates to a real-life TV phenomenon, and the Thin Man has a TV theme going on, and 2) when the Thin Man chases Mono in the train in one of the trailers, his image is blurry and it appears to have doubled/tripled as he moves, similar to what happens with TV images when a ghosting problem occurs in a TV.

For the Thin Man, it was just a mostly ordinary, albeit boring day. After going through his typical patrol route via the television sets and having found no sign of any children so far, he ghosted toward the end of a passageway and placed his hands on a screen. As he did so, a surge of power coursed through his body, and he emerged from a television set to find himself in a room within the Signal Tower.

He drew himself to his full height and looked around the small and dark room. Having thoroughly explored the Signal Tower meant that he knew it inside out, but as far as he knew, this room was one he had never been to before.

What made the room more unusual was something that sat atop a desk amid dusty broadcasting equipment: it was a medium-sized rectangular device, yet flat, flatter than any television set he had ever seen. As he approached it, the strange device’s white screen began displaying a message in black text:

HELLO! YOU ARE RECEIVING A CALL FROM —

Before he could get a name, the screen quickly changed, displaying an eye encased within a triangle. Then came a deep, echoing voice.

"WELCOME, CHILD OF THE TRANSMISSION."

He started, then stared at the device. For a while, he was too surprised to say anything. And how dare it called him a child! **"** **Don't ever call me that,"** he said.

As if in response to his irritated tone, the deep voice shifted into one that was more soft-spoken. "Sorry. They call you the Thin Man, right?"

He sighed. **"That's right. Now, let's get this over with before I — "**

"Before you what?"

The Thin Man glared at the device. **"Before I literally leave this thing in the dust, that's what! Now what do you want with me?"**

"All right, all right, calm down old man. I just want to provide you with some questions, that's all. Is that okay with you?"

He continued to glare at the eye on the screen, though he was unsure of what to make of the voice and its demands. The device that projected it was even more of a mystery, as it came with a room that he had never set foot on before. But perhaps speaking with the voice in the device could yield something important…

**"Yeah, it's okay. But you better not be wastin' my time here."**

There were sounds of cheering and applause, which he assumed to be coming from the device. He wanted to roll his eyes, but he was still wary about the device's capabilities. After all, he — and only he — was the one to keep an eye on everyone else in this world, no exceptions.

"Great! Just pull up a chair, Mr. Thin Man, please… "

As the Thin Man dragged a chair toward the desk and sat down on it, he thought about how much better off he would be if he continued hunting down the children instead.

* * *

"So! First things first."

**"Yeah?"**

"Why do you keep looking down like that? Is something wrong with your neck? Are you the Hanging Man?"

Oh, an interview. And of course, the first question had to be a personal question. He sighed.

 **"No, I just have a bad case of tor — torticol — "** He paused, unsure of the correct term; he'll have to ask the Doctor for it later. **"That thing that makes your neck go one way or the other sometimes. And I don't like the light that much, so that's why I keep my head down and my hat on. Also, I don't know the fellow you're talking about. Judgin' by that name, he must have croaked a long time ago."**

The screen flickered briefly as if the entity behind the voice was considering his answer. Then came a laugh.

"So you're not the Hanging Man?" asked the voice jokingly. "Wait, are you actually even dead?"

The Thin Man stared grumpily at the eye. **"Of** **c̍͜o̰͋u̘̔ȓ̗s͖͂e̪͋ ̯̇I'm̰̅ n͚̉o̜͗t ̼̋d̦̓ě̘ad͔̐,"** he replied, his raised voice crackling with TV static. **"** **Who said I was dead? If I was dead, I wouldn't be here right n͈͞o̝̎w͚͑!"**

"Whoa, whoa! Easy there! Didn't mean to insult you or anything! I'm just repeating what almost everyone is saying about you, that's all!"

**"I don't care what you and everyone else says about the idea of me being dead — I'm n͕̔o̝͊ṭ͆! And next question, before you really start to bug me!"**

There was a pause, and the voice spoke again, this time a bit more composed. "Okay, okay. Anyway, do you know who Mono and Six are?" it asked. "They're going to deal with you and the Signal Tower some time, so you better watch out!"

Ah, so those were the names of the two children he had set his sights on for quite some time now; speaking of… Mono and Six, he had recently spotted them somewhere within the Pale City. He knew them to be threats to the Transmission, but still… 

**"What weird names to give kids these days… But maybe I'm one to talk,"** he said. **"Hmph! In any case, they'll get the same treatment as the other little rascals!"**

Once he finished speaking, the voice laughed a long hard laugh. It went on for a while, and it greatly irritated him.

 **"WHAT BUSTED YOUR G̝͆UT̪̉ THIS TIME?"** he demanded.

"Nothing, nothing!" the voice answered, still shaky from laughter. "It's just that I've never heard of anyone besides you call them little rascals. Where I'm from, the kids aren't really called that, you know? Except for this one old movie I saw a long time ago, but that's about it."

The Thin Man remained silent as he stared at the eye on the screen again. Just where exactly was this voice coming from, anyway? It most likely didn’t come from anywhere in this world, and he couldn’t think of anyone from the Maw or the Nest that had that voice.

"Anyway," the voice continued, "Are you Mono's father?"

 **"Never was,"** he snapped. **"Why would I be when I'm tryin' to get him and his friend killed?"**

"Oh, dang. Should've expected you to say that, but um…"

**"Hurry up. And don't bring those two up again. I'm no one's father, I'll give you that."**

"All right, all right. Actually, I've got something very important to ask you."

**"What?"**

"Why do you and a bunch of other grown-ups try to hurt or kill children?"

The Thin Man laughed derisively. How old was the being behind this voice? He reasoned that it wasn't very old, because the answer, after all, should be obvious. **"They're** **an annoying bunch of ankle-biters,"** he said. **"Why wouldn't you want to get rid of 'em?"**

"Uh, ankle-biters?"

He sighed — oh, how much he hated saying _and_ hearing the word. **"T** **he children,"** he growled.

"Oh, jeez. Well, sorry that I don't know 1950s slang as much as you do!"

**"'1950s slang?'"**

"Never mind! I got carried away a bit there. But anyway, I've got five more sets of questions for you."

The Thin Man nodded. **"** **That's good to know,"** he muttered, resting an arm on the desk and pulling the brim of his fedora down. He'll put up with a few more questions, even though, frankly, he was getting tired of them.

"Okay, so here are the questions that I got from a few sources… But don't worry, I won't try to interrupt as much this time. Just say what you've got on your mind, and I'll write them down as best as I can. Is that cool with you?"

He nodded slowly, his hand still on his fedora. **"Yeah."**

"Great. Now, do you know what DTV is?"

 **"What the hell is DTV?"** asked the Thin Man in a flat voice. He waited for the interviewer to respond, but the only thing he heard was the slight scratching of something against what seemed to be paper. There was no doubt that the interviewer was taking down notes, so at least there was a bit of honesty.

"Uh… never mind, next question. Do you know what memes are? Do you know any?"

What kind of questions was the voice asking? Was it trying to rile him up by asking him things that he didn't know? **"No, I don't know what the hell they are, nor do I know any."**

"Okay, next. Do you know the Slender Man?"

How stupid were these questions going to get? And was that what those brats were also calling him these days? He let out a sigh; it seemed that creativity has gone down by a lot too.

**"If that name's supposed to make fun of me, I don't find it a gas."**

There was another bit of scratching, punctuated by a snigger. The voice continued to laugh, then said, "Do you know what a ship is?"

It had to be kidding, right?

 **"It's the thing that floats in the water,"** he replied, in a way as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. **"Somethin' like the Maw. Other than that, I don't know anythin' else about 'em because I'm not a sailor."**

At that point, the voice suddenly roared with laughter, and the Thin Man had had enough.

**"JUST GET TO THE LAST QUESTION!"**

Despite being lost in its laughing fit, the voice managed to quickly ask, "Why — haha! — are your eyes shut all the time? Are you squinting or do you just take really long naps while walking around?"

 **"Yeah, I often pile up Z's, even while goin' around. It's from tryin' to catch those rascals all the damn time!"** the Thin Man grumbled. He then slammed his hands on the desk, causing it to shake a little. **"But I think that's about it! Now, let ME ask you this: ARE YOU TRYIN' TO WRITE A BOOK HERE?"**

"Nope!" came the cheerful reply, clearly unfazed by his anger. "And by the way, your hat's gone, TV Head."

A split second after the voice finished speaking, the Thin Man shoved the device off the desk, causing it to crash to the floor. It released a few sparks, and when he walked to the opposite side to where it fell, he saw that its screen was dark, with a crack running across where the eye symbol formerly was.

Wait, his hat?

He reached for the top of his head, but where he expected his fedora to be was nothing but his hair. He frantically looked around, then spotted two small figures heading toward the open door. One was a boy wearing a brown coat and a paper bag over his head, while the girl had a yellow hooded raincoat, and both of them were carrying something that looked familiar.

**"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"**

"Mono, run!"

At once, the children let go of the fedora, dropping it as they bolted out of the room. Without missing a beat, he snatched his fedora up, put it on his head, then went after them as they ran toward a door at the end of a hallway. They pushed it open together, and from what the Thin Man could see through the small crack there were many television sets lying in a dark room — in fact, he could even see which set the two were about to go through as Mono placed his hands on one of the white static screens.

"Hold on, Six!"

Before the Thin Man could grab one of them, they disappeared into the TV. He followed suit, and appeared inside a long gray hallway, with the children not far ahead. He ghosted after them, and they were once again within his reach —

Only for Mono and Six to jump and evade his grasp at the last moment and escape through the end of the hallway. He kept following them anyway, but instead of fully leaving through the television screen and continuing the chase, half of him remained within the TV dimension, while the other half poked out of the screen.

With a disappointed sigh, the Thin Man pulled down on his fedora's brim with one hand and drummed his fingers on the wooden floor with the other.

Darn those kids.

The Thin Man is Disappointed.

_*The comic this Channel was based on was originally made using a black dry-erase marker on a whiteboard._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any comments, thoughts, or theories to present/counterargue some of the elements within this story, feel free to do so! I can't wait for February 11! It's almost here, after all!
> 
> Author's thoughts:
> 
> *... Does anyone want to tell this 1950s-esque video game man what The Little Rascals/Our Gang, digital television, memes, Slender Man, fandom shipping, and other real-world late 20th-century and 21st-century words and phrases mean? (I also think that his part-TV static heart would break a little upon learning about the switch from analog to digital.)
> 
> *The more I look at this particular Channel, the more appropriate and relevant it is. It's kind of like a Zoom/Teams meeting gone horribly wrong (in a hilarious way).
> 
> *And so the Thin Man has acquired the flattering name of "TV Head" (not related to the English band Radiohead).
> 
> *I think the condition you're talking about is torticollis, Thin Man. No need to go and ask the Doctor for that.
> 
> Unused questions and replies:  
> -"Why are the people in the Pale City brainwashed and why do they have messed-up faces from looking at the TVs?"  
> -"Oh, don't worry about 'em, there's a reason why the TV sets are also called idiot boxes. They just stare and stare, and they all love it! That's why they're all over the place, so they can have their fun wherever they are."
> 
> -"Can you stop the Transmission yourself so we don't have to play this game?"  
> -"I won't do such a thing. Also, let me ask you this: who's 'we,' and what game are you talkin' about?"
> 
> -"Do you know Michael Jackson? Can you dance?"  
> -"I don't know this Michael Jackson fellow, and no, I don't dance. Why waste my time on things like that when I can hunt the kids down?"
> 
> -"How do you sleep at night when children are being troubled by monsters like you?"  
> -"I sleep soundly, thank you very much."
> 
> -"What do you think about the other adults that are like you?"  
> -"We mostly do our own thing, so we're not completely in cahoots, though a lot of us do have one thing in common: dealin' with the kids. Grab 'em, eat 'em, shoot 'em, it's all the same."
> 
> -"Are you responsible for the nightmarish state of the world?"  
> -"Now, what made you think of that?"


	2. "Post-Credits Scene"/Top 10 Tips on Defeating the Thin Man in Little Nightmares 2

**Top 10 tips on defeating the Thin Man in the game Little Nightmares 2:**

1) Don't run away from him! He will follow you forever if he wants to kill you.

2) If you get close enough to him, jump off the ledge and then back onto it again. This way, you won't be able to see his face anymore.

3) You can also use your flashlight to block out his light.

4) Try not to look at the walls while playing this game. They might give away where you are going too easily.

5) The Thin Man can't get you if you are hiding under the bed.

6) You can trick him by making him go through the wrong door.

7) You can also trick him by making him go through the right door, but then closing the door before he gets to you.

8) If you are really brave, you can try to fight him.

9) If you are really, really brave, you can try to fight him and win.

10) If you are really, really, really brave, you can try to fight him and win without any weapons.

**Follow these tips and you'll be able to stop the Transmission in no time at all!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: These top 10 tips were provided by AI Dungeon. These are not meant to be accurate or taken seriously at all.


End file.
